critiquing the critics

As a Theatre student, I was taught to be critical.
Constructively.

If we watched a scene, the director/professor would ask for opinions afterward. There was no such thing as simply saying "I liked it" because he would always push for why.

We began to dissect... everything. Lights, direction, acting, costumes, sets... to question every choice the production's director and actors made.

Sometimes I wish I never took that course.

There is no way I can separate myself from the critique.
Every time I watch a live performance my mind is constantly whirling, as ears, eyes and brain combine to make a fine tooth comb of analysis, running it through the hair of the performance as deliberate as looking for lice.
It happens with film, music and books as well, although I tend to be harder on the stage because this is where it began. It has just spilled over into other areas of art.

Of course there is nothing wrong with constructive criticism but I have to remind myself that not everyone has the same background, same experience.
But inevitably when I emerge from a performance, someone will ask the question
"what did you think?"

Ugh.

I'm sure friends who ask roll their eyes inward, waiting for me to hate it and tear it apart.
I should just say I liked it, and move on. But it doesn't sit well in my guts.
I'm sure it comes off as pompous, as if I think could do better.  I don't. Okay, in some cases I do, but in fairness, in some cases my cat could also do a better job.
 
One of my pet peeves with local theatre here in Nova Scotia is not as much with the productions, but with the audiences. It seems that people misunderstand the purpose of the standing ovation. It would appear that if anyone walks across a stage, it is applauded by jumping to your feet. But by far, the worst culprits are the local reviewers who always praise, never picking out anything that could and should be addressed, something  to be improved upon.

While it is very kind to want to be so supportive, it breeds mediocrity and unwarranted ego. How can an artist grow if s/he thinks they have no need to improve?
I'm not speaking of those critics who hate everything, who feel the need to tear it all down.
Criticism should be constructive, not destructive. It is meant to build toward something better, not to tear something down.

As a performer and director I have been reviewed many times and I can say that if the critique was favorable nine times out of ten, it was the tenth that stayed with me. As a person it is easy to take it personally. As a performer it should be taken as a gift. It puts a seed in the back of your mind that grows into other options, other choices.


However, with all of this being said, I have to remind myself that not everyone thinks this way. Some people enjoy a production simply because they found it entertaining.
I envy that.
It's not fun realizing that the Wizard is just a man behind the screen, or knowing the trick to every illusion.
Every time I answer the question "what did you think?" I obsess about my response for hours afterward. I worry that I offended someone or made them feel that their opinion was invalid.

While it may appear that I am too critical, it is nothing compared to my own review of my review.
Sadly, that voice is not a constructive one.

Three's a Crowd, or, Unless You're A Conjoined Twin, Leave the Other One At Home

Okay, so I suppose this could be classified as a rant. It is not a personal attack on anyone, it's just one of my pet peeves.

 I have several friends who are in relationships and seem to have lost their individuality.
Seriously.

If I have made plans with someone, I expect that it is going to be just us two. When my friends show up with their significant other in tow, I have to say, it really irritates me.
If, when we made these plans, my friend would say, hey, do you mind if so and so tags along? then that's different. I know what to expect. But when they arrive with that umbilical chord still attached, I'm pissed.

It has nothing to do with the other person. Of course, often I get the partner who says "your friend hates me" once they are alone.
Seriously.
Go to Walmart and buy yourself a big bucket of Get the Fuck Over Yourself.
Why do you assume I have the energy or interest to hate you? I just want to spend some time with my friend. You may be a package in your mind, but you're not to me. You are not my partner. You are, in a few cases, not even my friend, so why do you want to sit there while we talk about things to which you cannot contribute, except to have an excuse to pout later and say "your friend hates me".
I don't hate you. But it you insist on tagging along every time, I just might start. 

If a friend wants to go for a walk, or coffee and s/he asks me to go, I assume we are going alone. If s/he says "the love of my life and I are going for a walk, would you care to join us?" then that's different. I have the choice of yea or nay.

Honestly, when did being in a relationship excuse you of all manners and consideration?
I don't say to my partner "Hey, I'm going to hang out with the girls, are you coming?"
I love spending time with my love, but I don't assume others will feel the same. Or sometimes I just want to catch up with my pals all by myself. There's nothing wrong with that. And there's nothing wrong with expecting the same from others.

In short, I'm saying, unless you are literally joined at the hip and it is physically impossible to go anywhere without your boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse/whatever, then please, please, come alone.
Or at least let me know we're having company.