go blog yourself

Someone asked me recently if I blogged. My immediate response was "Yes" followed by ".. um.. well.. I mean, I have blogged.. I have a blog.. I blog but I haven't really been blogging much lately..." The word Blog became a bit of a swear word.
Oh Blog.
Bloggity Blog Blog.
Bloggots.

It is not that I have a lack of ideas. Oh no, there are many snippets and drafts saved, many scraps of lines in files. I have no trouble producing the pieces. It's the threading it together that is the difficult part. 

I find I need to be inspired. And so I wait for inspiration to hit me; wait for the Muse. It is not elusive, she comes quite often in fact. But I never know how long a visit from that flighty sprite will last.
Try as I might the discipline to write when not in the mood escapes me. And yet I know it is something for which I should strive, plug regardless.
What would Plath do? Or Woolf?
They would force themselves.
They would be happily consumed.

Perhaps it's not inspiration, but focus that I need; the ability to concentrate without wandering off and following every shiny speck of dust that floats it's way into my peripheral vision.

How can I finish a writing a book if I can't finish writing a blog post?

Oh Blog.
Blog Off.

It can't be the wrong road if it's part of the journey

Well, I am many things, and therefore this space shall be as well.
Many times I come to write, only to peck and strike like a chicken in the dirt, but then leave without even a trace of hen scratch.
I have to have focus. I want to become more disciplined in my writing (and, truth be told, my life) so I shall stop fretting about theme, and be more concerned about content.
From now on, whatever happens, happens.
As long as I find interesting ways to write it down, it shall find a home here.

There. I've made peace with it.

my blog is having an identity crisis

I come here often.
I log in, stare at the page, knowing I should write something. I started a blog to write things. But then I get overwhelmed.
Not for lack of material- hell, I've got more than enough floating around in this echo-y head of mine, bouncing around like rubber balls in a stainless steel room.
The problem is, which of those thoughts to put here.

Should this space be used for work related issues? Moments of self discovery? Recipes? Trips to the beach? Poetry? Lyrics?( mine or someone else?) Photographs? Memories and observations? Things that piss me off?
These are all things prominent in my life, and each could have their own blog. I have a hard enough time keeping one, I couldn't do more than that. I wouldn't. I shouldn't.

But why can't it be about everything? Does there have to be a theme? Why can't everything be... enough?

I've always had a thing about perfection. If I can't be perfect at something immediately, then I am frustrated and don't want to do it. Or beat myself up over it.
Someone once told me I needed to give myself permission to be human.
I didn't much care for that comment.

Another reason I started a blog was to discipline myself, make myself WRITE. So perhaps if I just put something in, even if it is just one line, then I am at least fulfilling that purpose.

So perhaps that's what I'll do. So it will be as congested and noisy as my brain. At least I will be putting something out there. At least I will be getting something done.

We'll see...