an introvert's guide to self-isolation

These are strange times indeed.
A pandemic in the form of the COVID-19 virus has pushed the world indoors, separating us from others, and our "norm".  People are being advised to stay home, self-isolating, to protect ourselves and our most vulnerable.

As an introvert, this move is strangely comforting. I have been isolating for years. I call it "off people". For me, social interaction is difficult and draining. But parts of my career are very extroverted, so there is always the work to find a balance, to give what I can to job and community, while taking alone time at home or in nature.

But while there are those of us who are drained by social interaction, there are also those who thrive in social conditions and I'm sure that this sequestered time will be difficult. So, as a gold medalist in isolation, I can offer these tips to those faced with a fear of seclusion.

1. Give yourself permission to do nothing. 

It is important to acknowledge in these times that we are, in fact, grieving. There is fear in uncertainty which leaves us feeling helpless. It's okay to cocoon, to "Netflix and chill". Spring is coming and once this passes, we won't want to be indoors, so catch up on all those movies and series that you've had on your list. Or tackle that pile of books you've kept by the bed and have been too tired or busy to read.

2. Make a list. 

At some point we all grow restless and bored with just laying around, sleeping and watching TV. It is important, when you are ready, to get into a routine. I usually have an end time for the day. I try to work at things until at least 3 pm before I will watch a show, read or any other "leisure" activity. (It is important to note that I am an early morning person, so this is a full day)
Making a list is helpful; a list of all the things that need to be done. It doesn't mean I will get to everything, but I highlight one thing each day with the intention that "if only one thing gets done today, it will be this". That way I have a feeling of accomplishment and not feel like I'm wasting time. In cases like this we must remember that it is a marathon, not a sprint, so you don't have to rush to get it all done at once.

3. Take a shower and put on pants. 

This will come as a surprise to those who know me, as I am the Queen of No Pants, always looking forward to "Pants O'Clock". However, there is something to be said for not staying in your PJ's all day. That can easily lead to feeling depressed. Plus, you don't get the real appreciation of taking off your clothes at the end of the day, which is one of the best feelings in the world, to me.

4. Face-time with Friends and Family

Technology makes it easy to be social if you need it. Plus, we say we don't keep in touch because of our busy schedules, so this gives you no excuse to not catch up or be in touch. Now more than ever we need to check in on those we hold dear.


5. Get outside

Fresh air and exercise is crucial for physical and mental health. Social distancing in mind, give others a wide berth and do some yard work, clean off balconies, or visit a graveyard (easy to distance yourself in the cemetery). FYI - For those living in an apartment, remember that others share your common space so use wipes and gloves when handling railings and door handles.

6. Drink water

Staying healthy is important and making sure you are hydrated is one of the best pieces of advice. I like to drink from something that I know is a certain size, so I can monitor the amount and make sure I'm getting enough.

7. Open windows and hang blankets outside

Staying in the house for extended periods of time can make the air seem stale. Letting in fresh air (even on a chilly day) can freshen up your surroundings.If you have a place to leave your comforter, quilt or duvet, hang it out to freshen it up. It feels great when you crawl into it later.

can't wait to get this bad boy back on the bed

8. Try new recipes

Now is also a good time to make that recipe you've always wanted to try. Or peruse food sites to get ideas. A fun thing I like to do is Google recipes with ingredients that I have on hand, especially things I want to use up.

when life gives you lemons.. and limes.. and oranges.. make a citrus cheesecake! 

9. Play games 

There are plenty of sites with free games to distract yourself. Or if you have one, do a puzzle. Do anything that will help keep the mind sharp while entertaining yourself. If I'm working on something I usually take a 10 minute game break and play online scrabble or a word game.


10. Pamper yourself

Take a leisurely bath, give yourself a facial, manicure, pedicure. Use up those products that are lining the bathroom shelves.

These are simply 10 ideas to keep yourself occupied while in isolation. I could easily come up with 10 more, but this is a good place to start. Most importantly, look at this time as a gift instead of an inconvenience. Be creative. Be good to yourself. You've been given an opportunity to rediscover yourself in solitude. Embrace it.

giving thanks (thankfully) alone

I'm off people.

Nothing is wrong.
I'm not sad or blue. Or worse.
I am simply recharging.

Life can get so congested and clogged with people; with energy. Good, bad, negative, positive, it doesn't much matter. I find it all draining. And it is difficult to explain that without hurt feelings, misunderstanding and concern that it is something more.

It isn't.

I am an introvert.
Many people find that surprising because my work is so very social, my personality outgoing.
I work hard at it. It isn't fake, but sometimes it is forced.
Other introverts get it. It's not that we are anti social, but socializing drains us. Extroverted personalities seem to thrive on the company of others. Introverts like me, not so much.

I am an emotional sponge, absorbing the energies of those around me. Not in an airy-fairy way. Or maybe it is. I struggle to explain how exhausting I find it to be around others for long periods of time. It doesn't matter the person- someone close to me, someone I've just met. People I love.
It's not you, it's me. Conversation (especially small talk) is consuming. I develop Screaming Head. This is what happens inside while the outside smiles and nods and says "No!".. "Really?" "Interesting".. and whatever acceptable one-liners I can use to deflect. Inside I am screaming "Shut Up. Shut. Up. Shut. The. Fuck. Up. " with no mouth because the mouth is too busy smiling.

This weekend was to be spent in the company of life long friends I consider extended family.
I was looking forward to being in the old farmhouse, to taking drives and photographing but then extra cousins and girlfriends of cousins and sisters of girlfriends of cousins were also coming to share our Thanksgiving weekend.

So I bailed.
The dynamic of my restful weekend changed with this information. At first, I didn't react. But my body did.
Without realizing it, my stomach, which is the center where the truth sits in me, started to ache. I didn't pay much attention but it sat quietly twisting while I couldn't quite put my finger on it. At some point I realized I was anxious. I was sweating. It didn't take long to figure out why.
In the past I would have gone anyway, to avoid disappointing people and disrupting plans. But I would have spent a weekend being miserable on the inside, fighting panic and
Screaming Head would happen.


I've shut off the phone. I didn't shut off the computer, as I do want to catch up on some writing, but I am avoiding all Social Media and news.

It is about Self Care. It is about knowing that next week I return to a busy pace and the energies of many and that in order to do that, I need to do this.


I am Thankful.

I am thankful for solid people in my life who are accommodating even if they don't quite get it, who try not to take it personally and respect my boundaries.

I am thankful for liking my own company, for needing to be alone and listening to my gut.

I am thankful for overcast, windy Autumn Sundays, for CBC Classical stations, for puttering around the house and for the smell of my own little Thanksgiving dinner roasting in the oven. For multicoloured carrots and squash and apples and all the other products of the Harvest.

too bad the internets hasn't figured out scratch n sniff yet..

And I'm thankful for world that still wants me in it, even though I withdraw so often.